Wit
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Wit lies in recognising the resemblance among the things which differ and the difference between things which are alike.
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Wit has truth in it. Wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
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I wonder how many chameleons snuck into the Ark.
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Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning.
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Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
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A man might sit down and as systematically and successfully to the study of wit as he might be to the study of mathematics. By giving up only six hours a day to being witty, he should come on prodigiously before mid-summer.
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There’s no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature. The malice of a good thing is the barb that makes it stick.
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You beat your pate and fancy wit will come.
Knock as you please, there’s nobody at home.
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An epigram - a wisecrack that played Carnegie Hall.
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The witty riposte one thinks of only when one has left the drawing room and is already on the way downstairs – staircase wit.
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His wit invites you by his looks to come
But when you knock it never is at home.
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A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant; one argues a decay of parts, as t’other of beauty.
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You can pretend to be serious, but you can’t pretend to be witty.
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For when the wine is in, the wit is out.
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One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.
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He can brighten a room just by leaving it.
[on Gordon Brown]
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I remember my brother once saying “I’d like to marry Elizabeth Taylor,” and my father saying “Don’t worry, your time will come.”
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I fear nothing so much as a man who is witty all day long.
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Mr Speaker, I withdraw my statement that half the cabinet are asses – half the cabinet are not asses.
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You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
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Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as you see it.
