Television
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If TV sitcoms were easy to write, they'd be a lot of good ones and there aren't.
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Sooner or later, everything turns into television.
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TV sex is really realistic: I mean, who really knocks all breakfast crockery off the kitchen table?
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One golden rule of television is that any programme which makes extensive use of pan pipes is an absolute stinker.
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It used to be that we in films were the lowest form of art. Now we have something to look down on.
[on TV]
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Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
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It always makes me laugh when people ask why you would want to do a sit-com in America. It runs for five years and you never have to work again.
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My show is the stupidest on TV. If you are watching it get a life.
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I didn’t create Alf Garnett Society did. I just grassed on him.
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‘Television’. The word is half Greek, half Latin. No good can come of it.
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Television is simultaneously blamed, often by the same people, for worsening the world or being powerless to change it.
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It’s television you see. If you are not on the thing every week, the public think you are either dead or deported.
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I’ve always felt that on Saturday nights there is a kinder audience. That’s probably because they are drunk.
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Being taken no notice of in 10 million homes.
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There was never sex in Ireland before television.
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Television is for appearing on, not looking at.
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Television is more interesting than people. If not we should have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
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The best that can be said of Norwegian television is that it gives you the sensation of a coma without the worry and inconvenience.
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TV –a clever contraction derived from the words ‘terrible vaudeville’. We call it a medium because nothing is well done.
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It is a terrible thing to appear on television because people think that you actually know what you are talking about.
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I don’t know how long a child will remain utterly static in front of the television, but my guess is that it could be well into their 30’s.
