Television

  • TV sex is really realistic: I mean, who really knocks all breakfast crockery off the kitchen table?


    Sex, Television

  • One golden rule of television is that any programme which makes extensive use of pan pipes is an absolute stinker.


    Television

  • It used to be that we in films were the lowest form of art. Now we have something to look down on.
    [on TV]


    Television

  • Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.


    Television

  • It always makes me laugh when people ask why you would want to do a sit-com in America. It runs for five years and you never have to work again.


    Television

  • My show is the stupidest on TV. If you are watching it get a life.


    Television

  • I didn’t create Alf Garnett Society did. I just grassed on him.


    Television

  • ‘Television’. The word is half Greek, half Latin. No good can come of it.


    Television

  • Television is simultaneously blamed, often by the same people, for worsening the world or being powerless to change it.


    Television

  • It’s television you see. If you are not on the thing every week, the public think you are either dead or deported.


    Television

  • I’ve always felt that on Saturday nights there is a kinder audience. That’s probably because they are drunk.


    Television

  • Being taken no notice of in 10 million homes.


    Television

  • There was never sex in Ireland before television.


    Television

  • Television is for appearing on, not looking at.


    Television

  • Television is more interesting than people. If not we should have people standing in the corners of our rooms.


    Television

  • The best that can be said of Norwegian television is that it gives you the sensation of a coma without the worry and inconvenience.


    Television

  • TV –a clever contraction derived from the words ‘terrible vaudeville’. We call it a medium because nothing is well done.


    Television

  • It is a terrible thing to appear on television because people think that you actually know what you are talking about.


    Television

  • I don’t know how long a child will remain utterly static in front of the television, but my guess is that it could be well into their 30’s.


    Television

  • Television has made dictatorship impossible but democracy unbearable.


    Television

  • Television is a device that permits people who haven’t anything to do to watch people who can’t do anything.


    Television