Christmas

  • Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30ft tall.


    Christmas

  • Christmas, that time of year when people descend into the bunker of the family.


    Christmas

  • A lovely thing about Christmas is that it is compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.


    Christmas

  • A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.


    Christmas

  • If the three wise men arrived here tonight the likelihood is that they would be deported.


    Christmas

  • Christmas Eve can be hell on earth. Everyone running around doing last minute shopping. It’s as if Christmas comes on people by surprise, as if they had not known for weeks it was on its way.


    Christmas

  • The point about Christmas gifts is the giving not the receiving.


    Christmas

  • If you take the Christ out of Christmas, all you’re left with is mas.


    Christmas

  • Christmas is a conspiracy kept up by poulterers and wine merchants.


    Christmas