Age

  • Admit when you are wrong.The older you get the more frequently you will have the opportunity.


    admittance, Age, Wrong

  • Everyone seems to have a syndrome these days, mine is HRS, Hair Reversal Syndrome. For some years now, the hair on my head has been growing inwards, rather than outwards. This is causing memory dissassociation and loss, as the hair trickles through my brain and, overnight, pops out of my nose and ears.


    Age, Balding, Memory

  • The hardest years of life are between ten and seventy.


    Age, Endurance, Life

  • People get more like themselves: as they age, the arteries of their characters harden.


    Age, Character

  • Never ask anyone over 70 how they feel.They’ll tell you.


    Age, Health, Prolixity

  • I’m glad not to have been a revolutionary when I was young, because it prevented me from becoming a reactionary bore in old age.


    Age, Bore, Reactionary, Revolution

  • There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.


    Age

  • With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.


    Age

  • Nobody in Beverley Hills grows old. It’s a violation of the city ordinance.


    Age

  • In one old people’s home they changed the words of the song to ‘When I’m 84’ as they considered 64 to be too young. I might do that.


    Age

  • The thing about getting old is the number of things you think that you can’t say aloud because it would be too shocking.


    Age

  • I still go up my 44 stairs two at a time, but that is in hope of dropping dead at the top.


    Age

  • To my deafness I’m accustomed,
    To my dentures I’m resigned,
    I can manage my bi-focals,
    But oh how I miss my mind.


    Age

  • After the age of 80, you seem to be having breakfast every five minutes.


    Age

  • You go through life exhaustingly changing your emotional and physical state every few years –from baby, infant, child, teenager, young adult, young middle age, middle middle age - and then you reach old, finally a permanent, settled state for years and years until you die.


    Age

  • Being an old maid is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to struggle.


    Age

  • Anyone can get old . All you have to do is live long enough.


    Age

  • Although I am 92, my brain is 30 years old.


    Age

  • While there is snow on the roof it doesn’t mean the fire has gone out in the furnace.


    Age

  • To what do I attribute my longevity? Bad luck.


    Age

  • No matter, the dead bird does not leave the nest.
    [on being told his fly button was undone]


    Age