Quotes by Brendan Behan

  • I saw a notice which said ‘drink Canada Dry’ and I’ve just started.


    Alcohol, Alcoholics

  • Message ? Message? What the hell do you think I am, a bloody postman?
    [on being questioned on ‘The Hostage’]


    Theatre

  • I never came across a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn’t make it worse.


    Police

  • If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.


    Irish

  • When I came back to Dublin, I was court martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.


    Execution

  • He was born an Englishman and remained one for years.


    English

  • Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done; they’ve seen it done everyday, but they are unable to do it themselves.


    Critics

  • My grandmother took a bath once a year whether she was dirty or not.


    Cleanliness