Quotes by Arthur Smith

  • Come December, people always say ‘Isn’t it cold’. Well, of course, it’s cold. It’s the middle of winter. You don’t wander around at midnight saying its dark.


  • My intention is to do to the play what Hamlet himself longed to do to his mother.


  • I like to have exciting evenings on holiday because after you’ve spent eight hours reading on the beach, you don’t feel like turning in early with a good book.


  • I try to keep fit. I’ve got those parallel bars at home. I run at them and try to buy a drink at both of them.


  • Fancy meeting someone and forgetting you’ve slept with them. It’s not good is it?


  • There are three basic rules for comedy. Unfortunately no-one can remember what they are.


  • Wensleydale lies between Tuesleydale and Thursleydale.